The Unstoppables is a series about people whose ambitions don’t diminish over time. Below, Frederic Tuten explains, in his own words, what continues to motivate him.
I never had any ambition to be a painter or a writer. I had a longing for it. It was a longing for life, and I was equating life with the life of an artist, a life of freedom and generosity, a life with other people with the same interest in creating beautiful things together. I thought that was everything in the world.
Part of my yearning was to leave the Bronx, where I lived, and come out of that dreary little world where everything closed by nine o’clock and there were no bookstores.
I dropped out of high school at the age of 15. My dream was to save enough money to live in Paris. I once saw “An American in Paris” starring Gene Kelly. He falls in love with a young French woman and I remember very vividly and very movingly how I felt seeing them together. I wanted that, I thought. I would also like to meet such a young woman and become a lover. And that painting would become my life.
I had a friend named John Lesko. He was a writer, a painter, and my neighbor. He gave me Kafka novels and other books that I had never read. We took the subway to art galleries and downtown Manhattan. That experience gave me a taste of another life.
I said to Lesko: “When I try to write, I feel anxious. I want to go home, go to the street to smoke,” he told me. “In case you haven’t realized yet, adventure isn’t out on the street. Adventure is at your desk.” That’s where new discoveries are made.
The secret is to not be afraid and not to give in to PC thinking. I learned some of this from the women I loved. I feel most myself when I’m with a woman I care about. Somehow that relationship solves my insecurities, my sense of smallness. That relationship wants me to be generous, to be loving, and to participate in creating something beautiful. If you are lucky enough to make the right connections and meet the right people, you will grow.
I’m writing a new novel. No one dares to create this work. No expectations.
In these crazy times, I feel like I’m starting again with the hope of not repeating the same things, not repeating the formulas of fiction and painting. I write every day. The job could be terrible. It might be nothing. I may be fooling myself. The great thing is that I look forward to doing the work. I can’t wait to get serious about it.
I wake up in the morning, drink coffee, and write. After that, go to the easel and draw. It’s the rhythm that keeps me alive. Eliminate the concept of age. You are not old, you are not young, you are in this moment.
A famous actress once asked me: We are all so hopeless. You talk like a child,” and I said, “I am a child.”
Recent and upcoming projects: Work in progress includes new fiction; A selection of abstract canvases was exhibited at Central Fine in Miami Beach in September. An exhibition of his paintings is scheduled for April at Harper’s Gallery in East Hampton, New York. A copy of the screenplay “Possession,” written by Mr. Tuten and Andrzej Zulawski, who directed the 1981 cult film, will be published this spring.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
