When it comes to TV relationships, the messier they are, the more we love them.
Red flags on television are never acceptable in real relationships, but they’re not acceptable enough in fiction.
There is more than enough dysfunction to report on television. After all, how fun are the happy relationships in your favorite dramas?
In Red Flags on TV, the enemy to the lover is the king.
(Raffey/NBC)
Almost every TV show has some variation of enemies to lovers, and fans can’t get enough of it.
I think most of us can name at least a dozen recent examples of this metaphor. It’s about two people who can’t stand each other’s gaze and finally realize that it’s not hatred that’s driving their feelings. It’s love.
In other words, you were afraid to admit that you were attracted to the other person, and the other person repulsed you.
In real life, people tend to dislike people whose values are abhorrent to them or whose behavior makes them uncomfortable.
But look at the popularity of Wolf and Nichols in Brilliant Minds, for example.
When the series first began, Nichols was an arrogant brain surgeon who couldn’t stand the unconventional but brilliant figure of Wolfe.
Many fans immediately noticed their chemistry and began debating how quickly or even if they should start dating. And now that they have kissed, the shipper is excited.
Watch Brilliant Mind online
A closed man who is afraid of letting people get close
(NBC/George Burns Jr.)
There are millions of people in the world, so why waste energy on people who are afraid to share themselves?
However, this trope is a very popular example of television red flags, second only to enemies to lovers.
Take Chicago Med’s Crockett Marcel, for example.
When his young daughter died of leukemia, Marcel’s heart was broken and he decided from that day on to marry his career.
One-night stands and bad flirting with co-workers were fine. Relationships have been dissolved.
(NBC/Elizabeth Sisson)
Then Natalie Manning fell madly in love with him.
Marcel resisted until he could no longer resist. Eventually, he admitted to her that he was afraid of intimacy and why.
It brought them together as a couple and made them popular among fans. (It also transformed Marcel from a sleazy surgeon to a fan favorite whose exit broke everyone’s hearts.)
Indeed, trying to elicit an emotional connection from Mr. Closed Off is a tough task, but would the Marcel/Manning shippers have wanted it any other way?
watch chicago med online
A partner that all your friends hate
(NBC)
If everyone who cares about you hates your new partner, that’s a big red flag.
Sometimes people get jealous or misunderstand people they don’t know, but your friends probably care about you.
So if four or five people give you bad news about someone, that’s a sign to run in the opposite direction.
But when it happens on TV, people want the couple to get along or stay together more than they would if they had kept their mouth shut.
Most of the time, the friends that appear in TV scenarios are completely wrong. It’s either purposeful (you don’t want the main character to be your partner or you want the bad boy/bad girl to be your own), it’s biased, or it’s ignorant.
I too often fell for this warning sign on TV.
JJ and Paige were one of my favorite couples on Days of Our Lives (they’re a couple in real life too, but that’s beside the point).
(NBC)
I was really annoyed when Paige’s friends claimed that because of JJ’s past criminal history he was the wrong boy for her.
That’s because I stood by JJ’s mental health struggles and understood that he wasn’t a bad person and that he had worked hard to turn his life around after all the acting he had done.
That’s the difference between TV and reality.
Most of the time, we are familiar with the life of the proposed partner. Because we have followed their footsteps. So I also know that all my well-meaning friends are wrong.
Watch Days of Our Lives Online
someone you have already tried and failed
(Sonya Fleming/CBS)
Outside of television, I don’t really like meeting the same person a second time.
There are usually reasons why people break up, and even if you decide to get back together, the chances of your relationship working out aren’t high.
Plus, it’s part of the cycle of abuse.
Not everyone looking to rekindle a relationship with an ex is dealing with someone abusive or manipulative, but repeated breakups and reconciliations can be a sign that something unhealthy is going on. Flashing red warning sign.
However, television often depicts people whose relationships have ended in terrible relationships and ugly divorces, and then suddenly decide to start over. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Olympia and Julian, on board Matlock!)
(Sonya Fleming/CBS)
It was a metaphor for melodrama.
All of the Days of Our Lives supercouples have divorced and remarried four or five times, and Kayla declared, “This is the last time!” When she and Steve remarried again.
It also sneaks in the usual prime-time dramas. Matlock Season 1 Episode 6 depicts through flashbacks the incident that led to Olympia and Julian’s divorce two years ago, and now they are getting back into a romantic relationship.
One of TV’s red flags, this show is popular for appealing to our romance.
The hopeless romantic in us likes to believe that love is eternal, and that even if things don’t work out in real life, we’ll never forget the people we were meant to be with. They want to believe that someday they will find their way back to each other. I’m still grieving over a long-ago breakup.
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A person who tries to steal the heart of someone who is infatuated with another person.
(CW)
Why would anyone with any self-esteem decide to date someone who is not interested in them?
Yet TV does it all the time. All love triangles are based on the idea that X is in love with Y, but Z shows them that X and Z are meant to be.
(Sorry if this sentence has triggered your fear of algebra problems!)
Seriously, I hate Sophia from Days of Our Lives, but I respected her decision to break up with Tate because he was using her as a consolation prize when he couldn’t be with Holly. It is. I wish they’d done that before they had sex, but it’s still a first on TV.
The Veronica/Archie/Betty love triangle is as popular in Archie Comics as it is in Riverdale, and fits perfectly into this trope.
(Kylie Schwerman/CW)
Betty adored Archie when he was with Veronica, which is the same as actively trying to steal Archie.
Either way, this was a convincing triangle. And again, it predates the series and has been part of Archie Comics for many years.
Deciding to be with someone’s partner is extremely unhealthy, but it speaks to our beliefs about who should be with whom, which is why we don’t see this kind of triangle on TV. I love it.
We’ve all had the experience of wondering what’s wrong with someone we like thinking that the other person is better for them than us.
On TV, it’s possible for that person to wake up and find out that their best friend is a much better romantic choice than their current lover, and our fantasies about the person who didn’t choose us be fulfilled. There is a gender.
watch riverdale online
A lover who disappeared many years ago
(NBC/Eric Leibowitz)
To be honest, I’m really bad at this.
These are real second romances, and although they don’t work out, people meet again after a few years and fall madly in love with each other.
Unlike most red flags on TV, this one can happen in real life if the circumstances are right.
I can believe that people who once had crushes in high school can fall in love again 50 years later, after their spouse has passed away.
But in cases like what happened with Benson and Stabler in Law & Order: Organized Crime, this trope raises red flags.
(NBC/Screenshot)
This couple has a huge and very passionate fan base that hates when anyone says anything about their favorite couple.
Still, the stable ghosted Benson for 10 years and she was supposed to be his best friend.
And before that, he was married and made it very clear that he wanted to stay married.
It’s unrealistic to expect someone who has been treated that way to get a second chance, and millions of people are angry that it hasn’t happened yet.
Again, this metaphor appeals to the hopeless romantic in us who wants to believe that nothing is impossible to overcome if the parties involved are right for each other.
Watch Law & Order: Organized Crime online
Abusers with hearts of gold (and their cousins, who choose someone to fix them)
(NBC)
Some relationships go beyond red flags and become the type of problems no one should have in their life.
Days of Our Lives was the movie that first popularized “Rape Month” after EJ forced Sami to have sex with him and then she fell hard for him.
These kinds of stories tend to excuse the abuser by explaining things like childhood trauma or why they were in a bad mood when it happened.
Nightly dramas may be just as guilty. In addition, there are also stories about people who decide to date someone with the aim of solving their problems.
I would put Shaun and Lee from The Good Doctor in this category.
(Disney / Jeff Wedell)
By Season 7 of The Good Doctor, the two had grown into a mature and strong relationship, but in earlier seasons Lee wanted to “cure” Sean rather than accept his autism. The story revolved around.
This is an unhealthy relationship dynamic, but it also applies to our illusion that love can solve the problem behavior of others.
In real life, we all want to be accepted for who we are, but on TV, the idea that someone becomes a better person because they’re in love is popular, and that dynamic can make couples Let it take root.
More than any other metaphor, this metaphor emphasizes the importance of recognizing that television is not real.
In reality, dating someone who’s been abusive or in need of “fixing” can be more of a risk than the start of an exciting love story, but on TV it can lead to a fascinating romance. There is a gender.
Watch The Good Doctor online
(ABC / Jeff Wedell)
Thank you, TV enthusiasts.
What is your favorite TV romance trope?
Is there anything you can’t stand in real life?
Please share your thoughts in the comments.
