A Fiat Christmas poem written by our friend John Montgomery, longtime Fiat owner and the Studio Manager of Benson Fiat Alfa Romeo. Benson Fiat Alfa Romeo is one of the country’s top Fiat / Alfa dealers. John is the former multi-term president of the Fiat Club America, a Fiat enthusiast for decades, and everyone will tell you, one of the best guys you could ever buy a car from. Enjoy!
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in the service bay door
Sat a tired old FIAT, something leaking on the floor
Its fenders were dented, the exhaust had some holes
The seats and carpets were eaten by moles
The top was a mess, all tattered and torn
The paint was dull, weathered and worn
Tires were bald, the radiator leaking
A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking
So I put on my coat, with I-pad and chart
Went out to the bay to get it to start
The engine turned over–there arose such a clatter!
I knew from the sound it was “multi-air” chatter
From under the dashboard there came a bright flash
The wiring harness had just turned to ash!
“I’ve had it with Fiats!” I finally swore
“Enough is enough, can’t take it no more!”
When what to my red, teary eyes should appear
But a bi-speckled Italian in black sweater gear
“Buon giorno,” he said, poking me in the belly
“You needa my help? I’m Sergio Marchionne!”
“This Fiat can be saved; there’s no reason to grieve
All you need is some faith–Man, you gotta believe!
Sip an espresso while I roll up my sleeves
After all I saved Chrysler when no one conceived!”
“A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools!
When you work on Fiat cars, just make up-a da rules!”
“We’ll get her cranked over—no way that she’ll stall
But stand back over there, behind the shop wall”
With a cough and a sputter, the shaking was stunning–
I couldn’t believe it! The darn thing was running!
“Now get it to the body shop and then over to detail
Depreciation’s a myth, sell it for retail!”
Then he held up an electrical harness while kicking a tire
“Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCHA THIS WIRE!”
Sergio put down his tools and said not to worry,
“Have a seat in the lounge to hear my story, from decades past Lee Iacocca’s glory”
“There once was a buyer with a three pointed star, who spent a lot of money to remake a Pentastar”
“The Germans surrendered, Chrysler’s doors wouldn’t stay open, so I bought it for a song and my expresso potion
I arrived at Chrysler in 2009 and cast my spell, no one believed it would do so well
You see all those Chrysler, Dodge, Ram and Jeep brands?
They all got saved by my mighty hands!
We had great success and paid off our loans, put Challengers, Chargers and Cherokees in most every home.
But that was then and this is now, electric cars are now somehow in style. It’s quite the shock with success underway, so we merged companies, it’s the American way
Senore FCA and Madam PSA, married last year on a January day.
A ménage a Trois merger sounded mighty fine, mix American Iron with croissants and wine.
Welcome Stellantis, our new family name. I was just learning Italian, now it’s a new game.
Rescue has come in the hands of the French, Carlos Tavares will do his best!
Peugeot, Citroen, Vauxhall and Opel we surely don’t know, these car brands from nowhere now running the show
Electric cars may rule one day or so they say…incentive money may just pave their way! We’ve got Tonale and Pacifica “P-H-EV”, plus a new juiced up Wrangler called “4-XE”. But the future is what we want it to be.
As long the badge says Alfa, Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Fiat or Ram, people still love Hemi’s so says Instagram!
Then Sergio vanished in an unsold Dodge Dart
But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts
So I opened the bay door and let the top down
Put pedal to metal and peeled out of this town
And I thought to myself as I missed second gear
Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!
– John Montgomery, Fiat Club America, December 2022
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone who stops by our little corner of the internist.
All the best,
Chris
Discuss on the Fiat 500 USA Forum
* just a note: I originally posted an older version of the poem made a few years ago. The poem above is the 2022 version. My apologies for the mistake.
