Forgiving someone who has wronged you is one of the most difficult journeys you can embark on, but it is also a very freeing and rewarding experience that you have to fight for. The question is whether you will work hard to find the freedom you seek deep within your soul.
how to release forgiveness
Giving and accepting forgiveness is difficult, but it is perhaps the most important aspect of moving on from a difficult situation or event that hurt you. Every situation is different, but here are some keys to help you release forgiveness and find peace.
acknowledge your feelings
The first key to unlocking forgiveness is acknowledging any emotions you are experiencing. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These feelings are valid and recognizing them is an important step in the healing process.
When you suppress your emotions, they can come up in unexpected ways and affect your mental and emotional health. Accept your feelings and understand that they are a natural reaction to being wronged. (By the way, this doesn’t mean constantly thinking negative thoughts, it just means allowing yourself to feel whatever comes to mind without judgment.)
Understand that forgiveness is for your own good.
One of the most profound realizations on the path to forgiveness is understanding that this act is not for the person who wronged you, but for you.
Holding on to anger and resentment can be like carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders that only you feel. By choosing to forgive, you are choosing to lay down this burden and free yourself from the pain and negativity that was holding you back.
Forgiveness does not mean forgiving the other person’s actions or forgetting what happened. Instead, it’s important to find peace within yourself and move forward.
See things from their perspective
This step can be particularly difficult, especially if the wound is deep. However, trying to understand the situation from the other person’s perspective is an important part of the forgiveness process.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with their actions or choices, but it helps them provide context that might explain why things happened the way they did. Sometimes people act out of their own pain, insecurities, and misunderstandings. Recognizing this does not justify their actions, but it can help reduce the grip of resentment and open the door to empathy.
work with a therapist
While there are many positive steps you can take on your own to find forgiveness and healing, it’s often helpful to work with a therapist to get professional guidance and framework.
Online directories and resources make it easy to find a therapist no matter where you are. For example, if you live in Pennsylvania, TherapyTribe has a list of qualified therapists in Pennsylvania (and other states for that matter).
Communicate and set boundaries
In some cases, it may be helpful to express your feelings to the person who hurt you. This is a very important step in the forgiveness process, allowing you to express your feelings and discuss the impact of the other person’s actions.
However, it’s important to approach this conversation carefully and set clear boundaries for yourself. If direct communication is not possible or safe, consider writing a letter that doesn’t necessarily need to be sent. This can be a cathartic way to express your feelings and begin the process of letting go.
accept letting go
The final key to unlocking forgiveness is accepting the act of letting go. This means letting go of the hold that past wounds have on the present and future.
Letting go is a gradual process and does not happen overnight. It involves making a conscious decision to not let anger dictate your life choices and emotional state. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can be helpful at this stage, as they encourage you to live in the moment and be aware of your thoughts and emotions instead of controlling them.
way forward
Remember that forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. (It sounds cliché, but it’s true!) It’s okay to take it one step at a time and admit that some days are harder than others. Along the way, be kind to yourself and recognize the strength it takes to embark on this path. When you choose to forgive, you not only release the burden of past hurts, but also open yourself up to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
After all, forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of self-care you can practice. It’s about giving yourself the freedom to live without bitterness, allowing yourself to fully accept the present and look to the future with a lighter heart.
