‘Lorraine Kelly did not host her own show this morning, with Christine Lampard stepping in.’
The chronically online will know the exact source of that statement, it was a phrase that was repeated 52 times in 2024 by one account – LorraineKWatch.
The X profile responsible tracked the Lorraine show for an entire year, working out exactly how many times the host presented her own show. They’d also share when other stars stepped in, from the aforementioned Christine to Ranvir Singh and some brief tenures from Joel Dommett, Andi Peters, and Louise Minchin.
It all reached an epic conclusion with a ‘Lorraine Wrapped’ on December 31, which revealed Lorraine, 65, had hosted 59.7% of the episodes.
These numbers didn’t just appear by magic – there was one person that dedicated themselves to the cause to provide the statistics.
Their name is… actually, we’ve been sworn to secrecy, so unlike Lorraine as The Owl on The Masked Singer, nobody is getting unmasked. But what Metro did secure is an interview with the mysterious person to find out what it takes to run the account that now boasts 25,000 followers, and why exactly they have devoted so much time to doing it in the first place.
The whole saga began after a casual conversation with a friend about how ‘she is never there’. They decided to monitor the ITV show to see just how often Lorraine was absent, and thought that other people might be interested too so began posting on X.
Some initial posts had little traction and so they gave up. However, on January 1 2024, they opted to take things more seriously, posting consistently every day, rather than sporadically. ‘Within a few days, it just went viral. I got hundreds and hundreds of followers, and then it just kept building and building. I’ve managed to keep it up, and now I’m in my second year,’ they said.
Lorraine is on five days per week so they have to tune in five days per week too. On work from home days it’s ‘pretty easy’ to achieve: ‘It takes seconds.’ But during trips to the office they have to be a little more sneaky in order to not be discovered by co-workers. ‘I turn the brightness on my phone right down,’ they explained.
With a little help from loved ones who stand in during holidays and if they’ve got medical appointments, they’ve been continuously posting for over 380 days now, but there was a close call. ‘There was one time that I was ill, and I thought “I’m gonna just stay up and see it, and then I’ll go to sleep.” Then I woke up and it was like 12:30. I had a fair few messages,’ they recalled.
This was a one-off as they’ve made it a firm part of their routine. ‘I wake up, brush my teeth, make a coffee, check if Lorraine is on TV, get on with my day,’ they shared matter-of-factly.
The account has become so big that Lorraine herself has acknowledged it. Speaking about it on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour she said: ‘The amount of space I occupy in people’s heads is quite bizarre. It’s hilarious.
‘It’s fine, I don’t mind, I don’t care, I probably would have cared before but I really don’t now. It’s absolutely fine.’
Adding why she takes time away from the show: ‘To be honest, you should never comment on things like that if you don’t know what is going on in people’s lives, but I am having to take quite a few Fridays off because my mum really isn’t well.
‘So I can go home now and spend some more time with her and help her a bit more than I’ve been able to. That’s happening just now, but that will change.’ Lorraine’s mother Anne lives in East Kilbride, Scotland, but her studio show is filmed in London. Taking Fridays off means that she can travel up earlier to spend a longer weekend with her family.
Sharing their standpoint, the anonymous creator said: ‘I hope it doesn’t come across as being critical because it wasn’t meant to be like that.
‘It is a joke at the end of the day. It was never meant to be serious.’
They also highlight that Lorraine has been taking Fridays off for decades, and often appears on other shows in the evenings. ‘That makes it even funnier. The bonus Lorraines are a big part of it,’ they remark. The ‘bonus Lorraines’ are when the account posts when Lorraine appears on other shows that aren’t her own.
If they found out that Lorraine was genuinely upset and anyone from her personal team or ITV communicated that, they’d close it down. At present, they haven’t received a single message. ‘It would have been shut down right away if they did,’ they stated in a more serious part of our chat.
There’s another factor that could see the demise of LorraineKWatch – if ITV were to change the name of the series.
‘People do reply all the time saying, “Oh, you don’t care when Ben [Shephard] and Cat [Deeley] are off every Friday, or when Susanna Reid’s off all of the time”, but the point is This Morning is not called Ben and Cat and Good Morning Britain is not called Susanna Reid. It’s the fact that there is a TV show called Lorraine and for a third of the episodes Lorraine is not on it,’ they emphasised.
Making their position clear, they added: ‘I’m not slagging her off for not going to work, or shaming her for not hosting the show, but I just think it is funny that that is the name of the show. If it wasn’t called Lorraine I wouldn’t care.’
Not everybody is a lover of what they do, as criticism has ranged from ‘tone deaf’ and ‘insensitive’ to they should ‘get a life’. ‘Maybe I should take their advice,’ they joked, before stressing it only takes them a matter of minutes to post each day. In fact, they just tune in to find out who’s hosting before continuing with their day. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever sat and watched a full episode. It makes this whole thing even more stupid,’ they noted with a laugh.
They weren’t even sure if they were going to continue in 2025. ‘The concept tires quite quickly. I don’t know how much life is left in it but I’ll continue for now.’ Despite personal doubts the demand was high, and the idea of comparing the statistics from the two years was too alluring.
‘X can be a horrible place so if I can bring something that’s a bit of fun that can make people laugh then why not?’ they reasoned.
The account holder has looked into monetising the account to make it a little more worth their while. To make money on X, you must pay for Premium which costs £11 per month. After doing it for a few months, they were earning an average £10, making a loss of £1. So for now, they are in it just for the giggles.
But the big question is, will we ever know who they are? Currently only their close circle of friends are aware, and they plan to keep it that way. They may heavily document one celebrity’s whereabouts, but they have no personal interest in the trappings of fame. Although, they could maybe be convinced to sit down with Lorraine. ‘I could do it in their owl costume,’ they teased.
Lorraine airs weekdays from 9am on ITV and ITVX.
Got a story?
If you’ve got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the Metro.co.uk entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@metro.co.uk, calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we’d love to hear from you.
MORE: ITV viewers devastated after crime drama is axed after 4 seasons on huge cliffhanger
MORE: ‘It’s amazing!’ EastEnders legend wades in to fight for Coronation Street against ‘crisis’ claims
MORE: Emmerdale’s Ruby is the epitome of the perfect soap character and she keeps getting better
